I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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