You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
