I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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