you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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