I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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