I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
