It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize