My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Randomize
