Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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