I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
