i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
