he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We got so high we made milksteak
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
