I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
