I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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