i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
