why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
