I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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