she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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