I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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