it was like his penis was on wheels.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
