First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
