So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I should be sponsored by Trojan
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
