He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
