We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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