Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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