guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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