i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize