he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
