so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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