Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
