a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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