Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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