guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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