Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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