I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
