What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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