Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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