I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
