:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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