I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize