i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
