my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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