I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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