??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
