Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
