I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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