i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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