I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
