I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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