I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
