singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
