you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Drake has all the answers
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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