So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
