i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
