i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
