So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
