ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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