I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
