guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
