the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
