Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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