can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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