when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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