Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
