that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
