This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
