they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
